Figment Topology (The Poem With Photographs)

Figment Topology

In the past it seemed like
people could see me

like they might even
be able to perceive
extra aspects of myself
that I couldn’t
but now
I think I know
that I don’t exist
you see
The thing I had
seen as myself
was just a figment
I had misapprehended
as a construction
of others
I made that self
out of turning away
I’m actually just
the stuff
lying outside of that
Boxed in slide
I am not the spawn
of the projection
of other people

I may believe
they can see what shows up
in the world
to see

I am not
my body
I am not a
physical being
I am just a plane
that captures the waves
entering my senses
those things
that come inside,
and form
I’ll never
be sure

Figment Topology (The Poem With Photographs)

The problem is

The problem is
when I start to think
there is too much
that wants to come out

the end of every thread
is hopelessly frayed

I start to write and
I can’t
see through all the legitimate doubt
I get
mired in all the competing

I know enough
to know
I can never say enough
given the stamina
I would always say too much

The problem is

This Distance Between Me And You

From Soraxtm’s Eye Like Skull Pearl

How can I talk to you
from the me that is inside me
how can I know
what you will see
looking at
the me only
I can see

Is there some essential truth
to be gotten underneath it all

From Soraxtm’s Eye Like Skull Pearl

how do I know if
you can really see beneath it all
and know that you are

This Distance Between Me And You

Absolutely as False as You Are

tears dripping from my eyes

She was over

People talked of her struggle
and of relief it was done.

that girl was scared to death
and had no where to go.

So she died alone.
There wasn’t a note


she was drunk as hell when she
took whatever ended up ending it all.

she stopped
it was over
her body

her body

was there for there for three days

in a chapel
I stood with my head down
gazing through the drops of water forming on my eyeballs
her father stopped talking and a pastor came up

and attempted to

shove all that feeling into some kind of lesson

having to do
with some fucking bloody corpse on some cross and some
guy named Paul.

fuck him
Does He Even understand suffering.
It doesn’t glorify people
it destroys them.
A suffering person is a person who gets blamed.

The glorification of Suffering is a symptom of a sick soul.
the person I am closest to told me that the worst possible thing
would be to live a long life.
how being around people sucked the life out of her
how she would gladly give her life for that of a cat

and then few hours later I lost all desire to do anything

Absolutely as False as You Are

Screw your goddamn bloody corpse god

Evil Baptist Fascists
Evil Baptist Fascists

, , ,

Fuck all of you
Christians, Muslims and Jews

I feel like fisting
then rolling his sorry ass over
and taking a nice long piss all over his
outraged face

I feel like taking handfuls of my own shit
and shoving it
down his
goddamn throat.

And to those who “follow”
don’t you know that
your faith and idealism
is a virus that wipes out your conscious

the physical suffering you glorify
is all you end up producing

I suppose Gods is just a sadist
and when you get right down to it
isn’t that the big payoff for
you meek little sheep

you get to imagine the lions burning
in some imaginary hell



and there are
people going to hell
and it is you and you and you

goddamn bastards

Screw your goddamn bloody corpse god

Inspired By Salvia Divinorum

Ok let’s get up I’ll just get the over by this

, , , , ,

Ok let’s get up I’ll just get the over by this gotta get the 
keys are over near the OK NOW i’ll just get out of this. 
Wait! Ok I’m sitting here in the car and I have the lighter
and my wallet and I ‘m just gonna get my coat and I’ll be
I am  I’m getting out of the
wait did I just drop
I’m getting out of the car

and here I’m getting out of the car
I’ll just be getting out of the
and there
oh here go the feet
Ah I can breath
I’m getting out of this
I can feel the other thing
coming over the top but It’s not

wait I’m getting out
I’ll just swing my way up out of the car
ah I can breath again
getting out
this is the thing isn’t it
here we go getting out
Hey look
I’m over here I’m getting out
just like you

we all get out
getting out of the car I’m
there see
it was
ah I can breath
I’m getting
got out
wow ah
breath deep
now they are all up
all up all over
we got out up
swung right up and popped down here
right next to this car

we all get up
right next to the car see
ah what a deep breath and we swung right up

Inspired By Salvia Divinorum