Total Internal Reflection

The thrift store had a whole set of the hardbound  journals called Neurosurgery clinics of North America so I got all of them for a couple of dollars.

One issue was on Penetrating Craniocerebral Injuries.

It includes These lively  articles

  • Epidemiology of Penetrating Craniocerebral Injuries in the Urban Setting
  • Characteristics of Cerebral Gunshot Injuries in the Rural Setting
  • Experimental Missile Wounding of The Brain(includes details on anesthetizing  your various animal subjects so you can shoot them while they are still living)
  • Cerebral Hemodynamic Disturbances Following Penetrating Craniocerebral Injury and their Influence on Outcome
  • Penetrating Injuries in the Vietnam War: Traumatic Unconsciousness, Epilepsy, and Psychosocial Outcome

That would be something to read. Lately I think about this stuff though

I like having pictures of things I’ve thought about.

Total Internal Reflection

It was back then I suppose cuz I was listening to this album all the time

As Rational and Linear As An Algebra Equation(1992)

“I’ve been waiting, anticipating
sun comes up
the skies wont sink my soul
I’ve dreamt of this
but it never comes
but it never comes”
Pavement-Slanted And Enchanted

It was back then I suppose
cuz I was listening to this album all the time
It was a happy album and summer babe was so warm.
Maybe it served as a little romance novel amid all the other
stuff going on. The music was so comfortable i never
knew where is was going but it resolved its’ into something,
it had an end. It brought up the Velvet Underground of
John Cale monologues but it was so much easier feel.
It was A kinda happy place I suppose.
I was living a couple doors down from my mother In the
basement of a huge 19030s apartment building
on what the called “Pill Hill” had a lot of hospitals
on it and which overlooked downtown Seattle
and sat right next to the Broadway area.

I Lived with a little chubby Korean girl named Sihyon.
We talked baby talk together most of the time. I Worked as a CNA
or Certified Nursing Assistant in a really fancy facility on the Seattle
University Campus.
We spent most of the money we had on expensive food
from a high end Grocery called Larry’s. Most of the food
I ate went down the toilet but I was still nice and fat and
she was large enough that when we went shopping she would only
want to buy shoes. She went to Tacoma every weekend
to see her parents who knew nothing of me. I got a differential
for working weekends so I would buy alcohol and drink myself into
passing out. At that point I don’t remember doing anything else.
During the week I was able to get enough money to buy forty ounce bottles
of malt liquor which I used to drink to pass out after work in the morning.
Of course I rotated stores even though I walked around in really crappy
clothes and was obviously a drunk of sorts I did have my pride.
The friend who gave me the tape of the pavement
album(all our vinyl was played once and taped) lived on Bainbridge island where I had gone to highschool.
He was so lucky cuz his parents must have thought of him a insane yet
harmless so they let him stay in their home. He was pretty responsible actually.
We both knew deep down we were never going to make it as regular people.
But I guess we also had to harbor some delusion that it would all change someday
and we would become responsible upper middle class people of taste. I mean we
knew what was fashionable. We new they didn’t sell it and you had to find it
and it didn’t matter. And to act truly snotty you just dressed like a bum and
lived in a really rich part of town. So we ended up better then all the people
around us because we thought they were rich and stupid and we never had
to see actual poor people who would have just be boring because they didn’t
have any musical taste. We had that taste in spades.
Pavement was right at the end of that cycle for me. Soon I would sell my record collection
for pot, get a degree in biochemistry at and not work again for another 7 years.

It was back then I suppose cuz I was listening to this album all the time

Local “Hero” Dies For Idiots:Memorial For Some Poor dude in Machester Tennessee

Manchester Tennessee
Manchester Tennessee

“Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you Jesus Christ and the American Soldier,
one died for your soul, the other for your freedom,
What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others Lives on forever”

That is what is written on that marble slab.
It really hurts to see people just giving up there
lives for something so evil.
They forgave the German people
only after they had realized what they had done.
Will America ever realize what it has done.
For nothing
for less freedom
for a new fascism
Evil Is Evil
even if it is also banal

I got a response to my Local “Hero dies for Idiots’ Post.
It was on my Deviant art site
I for one can’t imagine the denial someone who lost there child in the war
must have to go through.  Of course they may just be completely ignorant, It’s not like
there is an actual mass media outlet that does any valid journalism anymore anymore.
And no one really reads to learn they seem to read to allow themselves to continue to not think.
anyway here’s the comment I got then my reply
“It could also be considered truly humbling that he died knowing that, and willingly did so. That those who choose to serve in the military often do so knowing full well that the majority of the people they are willing to die for are the same idiots that protest their existence and label them murderers, butchers, baby-killers, and any number of other things.”
Baby-Killers there’s a catch phrase. I wonder if any of the pilots knew all the people the indiscriminately bombed. If something is wrong it is your responsibility not to take part in it. The war in Iraq is so profoundly wrong and so transparently evil that the only valid excuse a soldier could give for taking part in it would be some sort of mental retardation. Oh I guess you could excuse a person who has grown up without an education or I suppose even the standard American Education would amount to the same thing. Thee is no use in arguing time will make it crystal clear and once again those sheep among the American people, the ones that would just want to accept anything regardless of any standards, moral framework or basically any reflective thoughts whatsoever. A soldier is not an innocent victim. An innocent victim is anyone who through no fault or action undertaken by them suddenly find themselves dead. Anyway it’s good that there is such a thing as history because rest assured once things have settled down everyone will come to know who is wrong. Kinda like the whole slavery thing. )

Local “Hero” Dies For Idiots:Memorial For Some Poor dude in Machester Tennessee

Was not available anywhere on the internet!

posted 08/09/08

So I I asked yougottabekitten to use her boffo typing skills to transcribe this vintage piece of Russian anarchist writing.  This piece was written 0ctober 12 1917 a few weeks before the revolution or perhaps a bit afterward depending on which calender you use (Gregorian or Julian). It caught my eye because it has the same title as the 1992 subgenius video.  Anyway I just love it i found it in one of the books pictured below in this post. The book is “the Anarchists in the Russian Revolution”  ISBN 0-9014-9141-x.

Arise! (Selitsky)

Arise! Arise people! Proclaim your mighty word: Enough! I do not wish to be an automaton. Away with all despots and parasites. I am a man! I want to live, to create my own life. I have the right to life and happiness. I want my happiness to be the happiness of others as well. I want my destiny to be no longer a plaything in the hands of despotic Gods of heaven or earth. At this moment, at this hour, I take my fate in my own hands and reject any further appeal to visible or invisible Gods.

You, Invisible Gods of the Heavens! You call yourself Gods of justice. But where is your justice? You call yourselves Gods of truth. But where is your truth? You say you are punishing evil. But where is your punishment? You are omnipotent. But where is your power? You are ubiquitous. But where are you then? You are all-knowing Gods – you knew and permitted these crimes. And now that human beings perish by the thousands and the whole earth wallows in blood, you all-powerful Gods are powerless to stop this nightmarish drama of humanity. You are ubiquitous – looking in silence at the sea of tears and the rivers of blood. You have not a drop of compassion for the human beings you have created. You bless this orgy of animal passions. You thrive on blood. You thrive on death. You thrive on humanity’s misfortune.

Thus you are the Gods not of life, but of death, not of happiness, but of misery, not of freedom, but of oppression. You are all of you despots, criminals, tyrants. Bloodthirsty Gods. Your godly machinations are revealed in the following stupid desires: I want – I shall create. I want – I shall take. I want – for myself. I want – so he will remain in a fog.

Arise! Arise then people! Disperse the nightmare surrounding you. Take the voice of truth as your own possession. Put an end to all the stupid desires of earthly and heavenly deities. Say “Enough – I have risen!”

And you will be free.

Was not available anywhere on the internet!