Tiny little voices are soft I can hardly hear them when I am doing something. That goes double for my own voice. Being an easily influenced personality I have found myself needing to isolate when I am not on the computer. I sit here in the back yard in a little tool shack watching the sunset develop presently. The neighbors are right on the other side of this wooden shed that shares the fence as a wall. They have been outside all day off and on. Sometimes they ride double on this tiny little minibike- a relatively large bodied person i surrounding a still fairly wide eyed tot. The bike goes around me all the way. I can’t see it from here. They take it to the side walk and ride it around our house which is on the corner. The sidewalk is a bit slanted in front of our house and there is a place where the concrete sits up a couple of inches. I imagine the bike must jump a bit off of that. Wow and there they would be set against that sunset in front of that huge tree.
Like a postcard or my own little commercial in super HD. How much would that cost.
But hell I’d have to get up to see that and it’s kinda nice here in the shade.
So much going on out here. Sometime I can and feel the subwoofer when the nieghbour turn up their “rap” music. I assume that’s what it is. It’s got this weird bass-line but then there is already much too much isn’t there.
Isn’t it terribly concentrated and overlapping this place we are in.
I got neighbors and roads and wires and pipes and houses all over this place. They surround me. The cars drive around me within one to a hundred feet. The planes pass overhead Supersonic Jets boom and biplanes and helicopters range in volume but occasionly the are even louder then our barking dogs. One of which has a skin condition and mewls and yaps for long stretches as it spins its infected hindquarters into the sharp driveway gravel until there is a bare spot of dirt whose radius does eventually stabilize.
Oh and no one knows anyone.
Or to be more precise I know no one.
I really haven’t made any effort to converse with anyone and unlike someone alone and silent in a big city A.A. meeting here you get to be left alone or never the less are left alone whatever your feelings.
But really that is an inherited condition. I am really just extremely afraid of people. This doesn’t stop me from communicating online occasionally as long as there is no reason to do so.